Fly the Dirty Ginger Skies
by MissMahjong
Summary: A normal flight goes wrong when Arthur picks up a DVD. Warning, it's crack.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to their respective creators.

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~ Fly the Dirty Ginger Skies

It really should have been a regular flight with the occasional word game going on between the two pilots and their steward. Instead, it was a stressful flight for the captain of GERTI, wondering about his future employment with MJN, should Carolyn find out.

It started out as a regular flight; both pilots were in the flight deck preparing for take off.

"Finished with the walk around?" Douglas asked Martin

"Yes."

The shorter man sat down in his seat, checking his controls.

"Must be delightful for these kiddies to fly all the way to _The Jersey Shore_ for spring break." Douglas drawled out.

"Not exactly, just a trip to New York, they'll have to take a bus to get that place." Martin corrected.

"Morning chaps!"

Both captain and first officer turned in their seats towards Arthur.

"Morning Arthur."

"Morning. More cheery than usual?"

"Douglas." Martin chastised.

"Yeah, here's the coffee. Are we ready for take off?"

"Yes."

"Just about, and Carolyn couldn't come because?" Douglas inquired, gaining a perplexed look from the captain.

"Oh yeah, well, she's out… on a date."

"I thought she was engaged to Herc?" the shorter pilot asked.

"In a way, yes and no." Arthur answered

"Yes and no?"

"Well Skip, Herc's proposed to her, many times, in fact, a lot of times and I wonder why she won't say yes? He makes her happy and if she's happy then I'm happy, but then I'm always happy so… I don't know."

"Sounds about right." The taller co-pilot chipped in.

"Douglas."

Arthur smiled.

"Boy, I'm excited for this trip, I mean, not only are we going to The Jersey Shore but we get to use the new movie projector and screen for movies, brilliant!"

"Indeed." Douglas slouched a bit in his seat, relaxing.

"Arthur, we're not going directly to The Jersey Shore, just New York and just how did Carolyn afford all that, she barely pays me." Martin asked

"She doesn't pay you." the first officer quipped, causing the captain to glare in his direction.

"Yes, thank you Douglas."

"My pleasure Sir." Came the smug reply

"Mum bought it online from a gent in Singapore, said it was at a discount price."

"Which usually means it's a cheap knock off or stolen." Martin mumbled.

"So, what movie were you going to show our customers to enrapture their minds and save them from boredom?"

A huge grin spread across Arthur's face, he was ready to tell them a story.

"Well, I'm glad that we had that hour delay 'cause I've forgotten the movies at home."

"Which were?"

"Disney movies!"

"Fascinating."

Martin shook his head Douglas's tone.

"Isn't it? Like I said, I've forgotten them at home so I went to a movie rental place, can you believe those are still around? You would think that they would go out of business with things like Netflix and-"

"Arthur, you're rambling." Martin interjected.

"Oh right, sorry, so I went there and got a movie. I think it's about male bonding, brotherhood, friendship, all that, it should be a good movie."

"What's it called?" asked Douglas.

"A Touch of Ginger."

"A Touch of Ginger, hm… sounds like a joyful culinary adventure."

"A Touch of Ginger…Why does that sound familiar? Do you remember a movie like that out in theaters Douglas?"

"No, can't say I have. With a title like that, probably a low budget film, must have went straight to DVD." Came the bored reply

"Hm, yeah, you're probably right." The captain shrugged.

"No Martin, I am right."

The captain just rolled his eyes.

"Chaps?" Arthur stood there, waiting.

"Play the movie an hour after take off."

"Brilliant, thanks Skip."

"Alright, anything I can get for you chaps?"

"No thank you Arthur, I think we're good."

"Brilliant, time to start the film, so exciting!"

Douglas looked over at Martin, seeing that the shorter man was in deep thought.

"What does the Sir ponder about, other than flying this plane?"

"Still wondering where I've heard of that movie before, it's bothering me. I know I've heard it some where, it sounds so familiar but I can't place it."

"What? A Touch of Ginger?"

"Yes, where have I heard that? Why does it seem _so_ familiar?"

"That is the question."

Martin thinks to himself while Douglas pays attention to the controls.

'A Touch of Ginger… A Touch of… low budget… DVD… male bonding, DVD…male, DVD… ginger…'

A sudden memory flashes forward,

'_Yeah baby, you like that?'_

'_Yeah!'_

'_Yeah.'_

'_Yes! Fuck my tight little ginger hole!' _

How could Martin be so stupid to forget that, but then he remembered that Arthur was going to show **that** movie to all of their clients.

"Oh no." He barely gasped out.

"What's- Good Lord Martin, you've gone pale! Are you-!"

"D-D-Douglas, I-I-I need you to-to-to take control!"

"What? Martin why?!"

"J-just do it, please? I have to stop Arthur from playing that movie!"

"Martin!?"

Martin quickly left the left the flight deck, noticing that all the attention was on the screen and tried his best to not run down the aisle to Arthur.

"Arthur, take the movie out." He violently whispered, face red.

"Eh?! Why Skip, it's just started. Wow! How'd you get your face to be that colour?"

"Nevermind that! Just take it out now!"

Martin could hear the opening theme song and turned to look. The opening to the film had various ginger haired men, from different builds, posing in various outdoor environments, Martin spotted him self and turned back to Arthur.

"Arthur, this is **not **the type of movie that should be shown in public, in fact, it's not even suitable in private, it's not a friendly film."

"What?! Skip, I don't understand!"

"Please, just stop the movie!" Martin may have shouted, panic clouded his thoughts.

"Ok Skip!

Arthur fiddled with the buttons but he couldn't read them and he ended up fast forwarding the film only to play it again at Martin's part in the movie.

"I wanna slap your face with my dick." Went the grumble of the man on top of a young Martin, out of shot. Martin's face went even more red.

"Yeah?" came the wanton moan from the young Martin, with lips red, face flushed and sweaty, clearly debauched. The man on top straddled his chest, going by the view of the man's thighs and cock on the screen

"Yeah."

"Ooh… I could use a good cock slapping."

Douglas heard everything from the flight deck and mouthed out the words 'cock slapping' to him self, the pull of getting up to see what the hell was going was strong but then there would be no one to fly the plane.

"Mm hm."

SLAP!

"Ah!"

"Mn… you've been a bad boy."

"So bad…" young Martin whispered

The moans, foreplay and dirty talk continued on.

"Oh my God! Skip, is that-?!"

"What did you do Arthur!?"

"I-I dunno, the controls aren't in English."

"Figure it out!"

Martin knew he had to do damage control, but the prospect of facing the audience in this predicament was frighteningly embarrassing, he gathered up as much courage as he could, trying to ignore the activities on the screen.

"L-l-l-ladies an-and G-ehergm-gentlemen, if-if-if I ma-may h-have your attention please?! W-we at MJN Air must apologize fo-fo-for the showing of this horrible film."

Mean while, on the screen,

"You want my dick in your cute little freckle fuck hole?"

"Yes please!"

One of their clients pointed at Martin.

"Hey! It's the same guy!", which only made the clients view back and forth between the screen and Martin, which nearly turned him purple in embarrassment.

"No! No it's not! That's, um, that's.. my twin brother…Mar..tinus. He's not exactly the pride and joy of the family. No! Please, don't look at the screen! Arthur, hurry up!"

"Sorry Skip! I'm nervous!"

Some of the clients continue watching the film, the grunts and moans increasing in speed as well as the matching thumps.

"Please keep your attention on me, the Captain, not me on the scree- no- my twin, don't look at my twin on the screen. Keep your eyes fixed on-"

"Oh Shit! Martin!"

"Fredrick!"

The final shouts of climax interrupted Martin, The Captain Martin, until Arthur finally got the DVD out.

"There! It's out!"

Martin felt like he was going to collapse of embarrassment and shame as he steadied him self to one of the seats.

"Feeling ok Skip?" Arthur was right beside him.

"I… I… don't know."

Martin looked around, not really taking in his view until he saw one of the passengers make eye contact with him and winked, Arthur saw this too.

"It's probably not the best time to tell you this but that passenger's name is Fredrick too."

"So do you really have a twin brother named Martinus?" Douglas drawled out.

"No… that was me."

After the whole nightmare event, the clients were left to their own devices to elevate their boredom, but they mostly talked about the film. Martin had refused to talk about it until they hit land, or rather, he tried to avoid the subject until he realized that Douglas wasn't going to let it go.

"What exactly led you to the porno industry, Captain Mile High?"

Martin glared at him then sighed, both men sitting down, waiting for Arthur as he was calling a cab.

"I needed more money to pay for school and I… could've sold drugs but the chances of getting caught would've ruined my dream, so I looked in the paper one morning and found a casting call. Went down to the place, found out what it **really **was and … did it." Martin, slouching forward, hung his head.

"Indeed you did, such upstanding moral fiber."

"Look, I'm not proud of what I did but you have to understand I was desperate to be a pilot and now… that dream just came crashing down."

"Or it just came."

Douglas was surprised at the venom in Martin's glare, kind of reminding him of an angry ginger Chihuahua.

"I don't _need_ any of your quips when I know that I'll be getting fired soon, ergh, fuck my life." He hung his head again.

Douglas reached into his inner coat pocket and held out a small object to Martin.

"Here, you're going to need this, a stress reliever."

"Douglas, you know I don't smoke."

"This isn't a cigarette, Martin."

"Oh…" then it clicks in Martin's head, "Oh! I see."

Martin takes the joint, Douglas then gets his lighter to light it up and Martin takes a puff, relaxing at the soothing effects, he leaned back in his chair.

"Ever been in a porno Douglas?" he takes another puff.

"Ever heard of Thundering Rhino?"

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Author's Note: This is on the cracky side, I had an idea and ran with it, but for a awhile I wasn't too sure about posting this. Decided to post this because I know people could always use a good laugh if they read it, review if you want.


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